


The Gift of Trust

by Assumare



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assumare/pseuds/Assumare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dirk is offered a ride aboard a magic ship on Christmas night, he thinks it'll be the perfect chance to escape himself for once. He gets exactly what he needs, but not what he expects, when he goes on an adventure with his new companion Jake English in tow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gift of Trust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Benzaiten (DaughterOfTheWest)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfTheWest/gifts).



> Inspired by Polar Express and my beta and the person who came up with the name of this fic was concaveadversary on tumblr. I hope you enjoy and have a Merry Christmas!

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you’ve been alone for a very, very long time.

You’ve always had the option, of course, of not being so alone, but you think that something inside you went wrong that made that option more of an impossibility for you. Maybe it had something to do with how your brother wasn’t home when you were young and you grew up taking care of yourself with no one else around, or maybe it was because the only friends you had were really just acquaintances on the internet and people who would never really know you, or maybe it was because when you did go to school you got picked on and bullied for being both smart and weird. That is, until you learned how to fight.

You grew up this way, developing this wrongness inside of you. Your brother made it easier for you to ignore it when he said you could go to school online instead. He made it harder for you when he started sticking around more in between movies and finally figured out that you may be a little fucked up inside and it was all just hidden with a smooth exterior, just as he taught you.

Now you just don’t know how to let go.

You can’t escape the wrongness because it’s part of you now, it’s literally you and you can’t seem to escape yourself no matter how hard you try.

So one Christmas night when the apartment is quiet and the only thing audible is Dave’s snoring from the futon, you slip on your shoes and a sweatshirt over your pajamas and walk quietly through the living room and out the front door. Dave never was as good at sensing strange activities as you were, and definitely not as good as waking up to catch someone in the act as you were.

You walk downstairs at a leisurely pace, taking your time. You’re confident you’re not going to be caught and you don’t have a specific place in mind at the moment. You’re just wandering, trying to get either out of your head or more inside it. Which one you’re not sure about.

You waltz down the street, cold breaths taking shape in front of you as your fingers twitch in your pocket. You’re worried about being outside so late at night where you could easily be attacked and perhaps mugged, but at least there aren’t so many people about. They makes you far more anxious.

Your only accompaniment is your footsteps in the quiet of the night.

Quiet...

You stop and turn, looking all around you. No one, not a single soul can be seen.

The city is so quiet at this moment, you could hear a pin drop from several blocks down the street.

Something isn’t right...

The hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

Never in your entire life has the city ever been so silent, nor so unpopulated, even during the night.

You see it before you hear it.

A miniscule light in the sky, only drawing your attention because of its movement. You’d think it to be a satellite if it were not for the surprising speed headed near your whereabouts.

You watch it quickly descend to earth, picking up on its dull roar as it increases proximity.

It looms closer, shadowing over you and finally landing away from you, out of sight.

It looked like...

The roar is still present, just louder, and the object _floats along the top of the street to stop right in front of you._

It’s... It’s a ship.

Maybe you’re more tired than you thought you were.

“Well, are you coming?”

You snap your head to look at a black haired girl with round glasses wearing some kind of formal uniform. She’s not a girl, you realize, she’s older than you by several years, but still young.

“Coming where?”

A breeze tugs at your hair and causes your eyes to water, but you don’t move an inch.

“To Skaia, silly!”

“What?”

“Don’t you want to come to Skaia? It’ll be fun!”

“Er, I-”

“Dirk Strider, if you don’t get on this ship this instance I swear I’ll pick you up and throw you on here myself for your own good! You need this, dammit!”

She legitimately stomps a foot to punctuate her outburst and say that she really means it with the anger of a child.

You raise an eyebrow, wondering to yourself if you should really question at this point how she knew your name and believes that you need “this” when she just dropped out of the sky with a fucking ship that looks more like it should be on water than flying around and picking up stray teenagers in the middle of the night.

“Please? Nothing bad is going to happen to you, I promise. Trust me?"

Her eyes sparkle with something at that, something you can’t quite describe other than knowledge of something that you may not be privy to.

It would seem that she is testing you.

You check your strife specibus and nod curtly.

“Maybe not trust, but I’ll hold you to your promise.”

And so you jump aboard.

 

You’re led to a room with other people your age sitting around in two-person seats placed into rows on either side of the center aisle. Everyone seems to be happy to be there, or at least no one is noticeably upset save the couple of moody teens just being themselves in the corner.

You really hope you don’t regret this.

Is this even real?

You purposely sit across the aisle from a guy with dark messy hair and forest green pajamas. A quick glance around confirms mostly everyone seems to be in pajamas. What are you all doing here? Where are they taking you, exactly?

You hope you’re home before sunrise. You don’t want Dave to find you missing and get upset. He’s been upset at you enough lately with your unsocial shenanigans and you shoving it in his face every time he brings it up that he taught you to act this way.

The boy in the green pajamas is still staring at you. You continue to ignore him.

Fuck, you really hope that Dave doesn’t end up having to get the police involved and some shit. That would suck so bad. At least if anyone tries to attack you you’ve got your hella tight fighting skills and you never go anywhere without your strife specibus packed up with your trusty katana.

Trusty. Funny you should use that word on an object. Maybe you should correct your previous account on your trust situation and amend it to say that only yourself and your katana are trustworthy. Yes, that’s better.

He’s still staring. God dammit.

You turn towards him. Maybe he’s staring at your glasses? It’s happened before. Whenever you leave the house in fact, which, admittedly, is not often.

Wait, fuck. You didn’t bother to grab your glasses before you left because you were tired and figured you’d be back before anyone would catch a good look at you anyways. Wearing your glasses would’ve been counterproductive to your walk.

You raise an eyebrow at him as if to say, “What?”

He raises an eyebrow back, grins, and comes over to your booth seat, making you feel awkward until you scoot over and make room for him. He sticks his hand out to you, that grin still on his face.

“Jake English, pleasure to meet you.”

“Dirk Strider.”

You take his hand in yours and shake it, surprised by his firm grip.

Perhaps this wasn’t such a terrible idea after all.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

“Ticket, please!” The girl who you figure to be the captain of the vessel and likely in charge of all of you appears in the aisle next to your seat, interrupting Jake’s rather drawn out tale of how he was invited aboard. Drawn out and likely added to. You doubt there was a mechanical rabbit leading his way, and you’re reluctant to believe that he really doesn’t have anyone that would miss him at home, although his tone indicates that his grandmother probably actually did meet an untimely death of some sort. 

“I was never given one.”

“Have you checked your pockets?”

“Of course not, I haven’t been given one.” You stick your hands in your pockets, annoyed but willing to play along just to be rudely sarcastic when you find them empty. “Why would I-”

Hm. Your fingers touch hard metal, warmed by your body heat as if it had been there all along. You pull out the piece of metal, disbelief clearly showing because you can’t give a damn right now about anything besides how the _fuck_ that ended up in your pocket.

“I don’t-”

“I’ll take that!”

She snatches it out of your hand and you turn to watch her, noticing briefly the mischievous look on Jake’s face. Apparently he knew that was going to happen, and you assume it’s because the same thing happened to him. Should you really be so surprised about that since a ship dropped out of the fucking sky and its captain asked to take you along for a ride?

Shit, what the _fuck_ have you gotten yourself into?

You get your expressions back in check and watch as she closes her eyes for a moment while holding on to it. Suddenly she grins and opens her eyes and you swear for a split second you see something in them before they dilate back to normal. You blink as she hands back the object.

You can see now that it’s more like a medal to be worn around your neck shaped into a heart. Half of the heart is incomplete with the edge of it being the only part still present. It’s the same symbol as the one on your sweatshirt, but it doesn’t have the color. You flip the metal over, cool now, and see that if you move it you can barely see two t’s apart from each other.

“What-” You look up to ask her what it means but she’s gone, doing the same thing to the other passengers as she walks down the aisle.

“Simply mystifying, isn’t it?” Jake draws your attention to his own “ticket” which lies on his chest. His is different from yours; wing-like waves that meet at the center. He’s wearing a brightly colored robe, and as far as you can tell, he doesn’t have that symbol on him anywhere.

“Mine says “i” and “n”. No clue what it means though. It can’t be a word, the letters are too far apart... Blast, I just can’t understand it! Have you got an idea, chap?”

You almost snort at his speech. His accent is ridiculous, you’d say it’s fake even, if you didn’t think that he wouldn’t be able to keep it up for this long already. His old English words are comical enough that you almost want to smile when you hear them, but you hold yourself back. Commenting on his accent might lead him to comment on the barest hint of yours that he may or may not be able to pick up on. You’re usually able to hide it with no effort at all but it’s hard to tell when you’re often surrounded by others with theirs so pronounced.

“Not in the slightest, English.” You stand up. “What do you say we have a look around?” You’re a little too anxious sitting in one spot for so long, plus you were never told to stay seated inside this room by the conductor.

“But the captain-”

“If you want a little adventure to stop you, be my guest.”

You allow yourself a small smirk, already knowing his weakness from catching snippets of his ramblings.

“By god Strider, I’m not scared by the prospect of a little fun. What are we waiting for?”

Your smirk slips into a smile without your notice just as you turn away and sneak out of the room with Jake in tow.

This is going to be an adventure, all right.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Drat. It would seem we’ve come to a dead end. We’ll have to turn around and go back, I’m afraid.”

You snort but cover it up by faking a cough. You told him earlier that you thought this way would lead to a dead end but he didn’t listen. That, paired with his ridiculous way of speaking just makes you want to laugh, but your slip up is surprising. Jake and you seem to be getting more comfortable with each other as time wears on, even if that time is short thus far. You’ve never felt as comfortable with another person besides Dave before, and that’s a bit, ah... Frightening. There’s a word you’ve never used before.

It’s probably just because he’s so preposterous and doesn’t seem to either notice or care. You brush off your unease at your previous revelation and shake your head at him, clicking your tongue in fake disappointment.

“Oh, quiet Strider. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“You’re the one who almost skipped out on this so-called ‘adventure’ as soon as you thought you were going to get caught by the teacher for staying out after recess.”

He hmphs at you, seemingly has nothing more to say, and turns around to lead the two of you back.

That’s when you hear the footsteps coming your way down the hall.

“Shit.” You curse in unison and quickly look around for another way out. You don’t really want to get caught despite your previous musings that they couldn’t punish you since they never specified to stay in the room.

“Dirk, care to give me a lift?”

You spin, seeing the vent he’s pointing to and hesitate. On the one hand, great, a place to escape. On the other hand... He’ll probably just leave you behind so he can have more time to escape.

“Are you sure you can get the cover off?”

“I- Perhaps you’re right... I should-”

“Doesn’t matter, just try it, I guess.” You’re sure he can get it off, that’s obviously not the problem here, so why is he acting like it is?

You reluctantly put a hand down and lift him up to the vent, watching the hallway that led you here out of the corner of your eye. The footsteps are getting louder. Sweat cools the back of your neck.

“Got it!” You hear rather than see Jake undo the cover on the vent and-

_And it slips from his fingers onto the floor, the loud sound echoing throughout the metal hallway._

“Goshfucking flipping hell, shit.”

“Who’s there?”

Neither of you answer the deep masculine voice but the cover falls over from where it landed against the wall.

The footsteps become heavier and faster as the weight is lifted from your hands and Jake crawls into the small space.

“Fuck.”

He’s left you to deal with the consequences and you take out your sword and settle into a defense position. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking shit fuck-_

“Blimey, what the fuck are you doing? Stop your dilly-dallying and come on!”

Jake’s hand sticks out from the space to pull you up. You stare up at him in disbelief.

 _Why?_ Why would he do that? You would’ve just left for sure, so why didn’t he?

“Dirk, you dumbass, grab my hand!”

You shake yourself and grab it, barely having enough intelligence to pick up the cover as you’re lifted up and struggle with Jake to get you into the vent as well.

You barely fit the cover back on the vent from inside in time to see a large, broad shouldered figure reach the end of the hallway.

You and Jake hold your breath and watch the figure quickly give up and walk away, grumbling to himself about losing his mind and something about ghosts.

“Well that was exciting, eh Strider?”

You let out your breath and chuckle.

“It sure was.”

You let a short silence fall over you as you catch the breath lost from said excitement.

You realize he’s staring at you again. You also realize the two of you are rather close to each other, alone, in this cramped space. You clamp down on the blood rising to your cheeks, but it’s too late, the thought is there. You’re sure that the darkness covers it up, though. Obviously.

“What?” You raise your eyebrow again, trying to draw the attention away from you.

Jake turns brighter red than you and starts sputtering. The idiot probably didn’t realize he was even staring at you.

At least you know the darkness isn’t covering your faces as you hoped. Fuck.

“N-n-nothing, I just, you, uh.” He coughs, as if to clear his throat from embarrassment. “You should smile more often, it suits you.”

Fucking _fuck_ , is this guy for _real_?

Shit, stop _blushing_ , that shit is not cool and Striders don’t do “not cool.”

“You too, babe.” You fend off your reaction to his comment with a wink, enjoying the bright red on his face far more than yours.

Your faces are so close.

“Anyways, should we get going?”

You breath a relieved sigh and follow after him, crawling in the small space on your hands and knees.

At least the view is nice.

“Woah, hold on.” You see it before he does somehow, another opening in the bottom, probably leading to another room. He was about to step into it and presumably fall to the floor below.

“Hm?”

He turns to look at you quickly, dipping his head at the same time in such a way that the metal ticket around his neck swings off and you barely lean forward on top of Jake in time to catch it before it falls through the slits in the vent cover.

“Gotcha.” You mutter in Jake’s ear, and he shudders. You chuckle again quietly as he elbows you in the ribs.

You back off of him slowly, taking care not to drop the medal.

“Here. Dropped this.”

“Thanks, Strider. Don’t know where I’d be without you.”

He smiles at you and something in your chest tightens, but you brush it off.

“Maybe you best keep it for me.”

“What? Why?”

“I’ll probably lose it if I keep it, and I trust you.”

Something in your chest definitely tightens then and you can’t ignore it this time.

Why would he trust you if you only just met? You want to call him a fool, but you feel guilty enough for not allowing him the same trust.

“Thanks.” You cough and avert your gaze. This is probably a dream.

“Let’s go then.” He nods, and you continue crawling. At least if this is a dream you have a great imagination. What a fine ass.

You continue crawling along for some time, pausing whenever the vent creaks with your weight, until Jake stops with seemingly no prompt.

“What? What is it?”

“Nothing, I just... Maybe we should go back.”

“Why?”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“...Are you sure?”

He hesitates, unsure of himself. You don’t prompt him, figuring that believing in himself is something that he has to start doing himself.

“I don’t... What do you think?”

“Well, you-”

He crawls forward a little with his doubt and the structure creaks and falls open, causing the two of you to slide down the rest of the tunnel until it comes out from under you and you’re in the air, falling, falling into a large box of luckily soft matter, the wind knocked out of you.

You struggle to get your breath back and you move the soft articles around until you can breathe. You take a moment to get your breath back completely before you speak.

“I think you might’ve been right just this once, English.”

He laughs, the sound muffled in the clothes that you were fortunate enough to land on.

“You all right, mate?”

“Fine, you?”

“Terrific, mister Strider.”

You laugh at that, almost telling him no, that’s my brother, but you bite your tongue and choose a different response.

“Good.”

Various clothing items shift around and in some cases are thrown until Jake shuffles on top of them near you, his head right next to yours.

“Quite an adventure we’re having so far.” He huffs. You can feel his hot breath blowing across your face. He smells like hot chocolate and gingerbread.

You begin to laugh again and stifle it, instead looking away and maintaining your cool composure.

“You don’t laugh or smile much, do you mister Strider?”

You look back at him and see his own smile has faded and he looks disappointed.

You consider saying something sarcastic or ironic but instead what comes out is

“No.”

“I see... I guess I’ll just have to change that then, won’t I?”

He smiles again, lopsidedly. You realize you’re both leaning in and your breath is becoming shorter.

“Yes, I suppose you will.” You murmur, closing the distance.

Your lips are a mere hair’s breadth away from each other, when-

“I know you’re in here.”

You pull away and stare wide-eyed at each other.

_Fuck._

“Come on out from there. I know one of you escapees is in here. Nothing can escape my notice!”

This time you recognize the voice as the captain’s and you’re marginally relieved that only one of you is going to get in trouble. Until you realize that one of you needs to take the blame.

“I’ll go. I’m sure you’ll come and rescue me from whatever fate may lie ahead.”

You smirk but shake your head.

“No, I’m the one who got us into this mess. I’ll go.”

Before he can protest, you’re pushing him down on the shoulder.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment.

“Promise to come rescue me, my oh-so fair and precious knight in armor?”

“Strider, I-”

“And here’s your ticket, you’ll be needing this back.”

You search inside your pocket but only grope at empty space.

“Shit. I must’ve lost it in the pile somewhere. In the mean time, take mine. I won’t be needing it any time soon.”

“No, Dirk, I-”

“I’m holding you to your promise. Don’t let me down, Jake.”

You stand up before he can pull you down and hop out of the large box with a smirk of faux confidence on your face.

Hopefully you made the right choice in trusting Jake.

“At your service, captain.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Your name is Jake English and you may have made a terrible mistake.

 _Hornswallop_ , you were sure you were going to fuck this up somehow, and were rather opposed to the idea of letting him down.

_Come on English, get yourself together, man. You can do this._

You take a deep breath to focus and start the search for your own ticket, Striders’s in hand. You move clothes from side to side, keeping your eye out for the glinting piece of metal, but you just can’t seem to find it. Gosh fucking darn it, you knew he shouldn’t have trusted you to do this!

But _he did_ and that means you can’t let him down.

You can practically hear the words again in your ear, just as he said them. No, you can’t let him down. You get the feeling he doesn’t trust people often, and for some reason you want him to be able to trust you absolutely.

Your fingers brush against cool metal and its edges dig into your hand when it encloses around it.

You guess you better get moving then.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Your name is Dirk Strider and holy _fuck_ is it cold outside.

The captain has led you to the bottom of the ship as according to her this is the fastest way to where she’s taking you. Some kind of gravity field or other must be around the ship because you can stand up on the bottom of the ship with no problem and it doesn’t feel as if you’re upside down at all. You’d really love to figure out how it works, but you figure now is not the time to be pissing off the captain any more than she already is.

“Stay right behind me. Things can get a little weird up here and you could end up lost.”

That’s easier said than done with her dark uniform which blends in so easily to the dark, nearly misty surroundings.

“Come on, keep up, I’m going to lose you!”

“I’m right here, I think I’ll be fine.”

She doesn’t reply to that and you keep shuffling farther, trying to make out her hair or something but it’s impossible with this darkness.

“Captain?”

You don’t hear anything. No reply or even her footsteps.

“Captain?” You call a little louder.

“I’m afraid I’m not the captain of this vessel.”

A soft but luring voice comes from right next you and you turn quickly to see a pale face and short blonde hair. You jump and take a step back only to slip on the ship’s slick surface.

She stands over you, a girl with a haunting appearance in a dark dress and heavy, dark make up. You can hardly see the rest of her body but her pale face and hair is clear to you somehow.

_Dangerous._

She could kill you with a smile on her face.

_Creepy._

“I am, however, the owner.”

“The owner?” You doubt that. Why would the owner be here, of all places aboard the ship?

“Yes.” She laughs and smiles like she knows a secret. “In fact, I own all of it, all of everything.” She laughs louder, as if she realizes what she’s saying is a joke but there’s a slight undertone of seriousness. Maybe she’s drunk?

“I see.”

“What do you see? Dirk, isn’t it? Tell me what you see.” She stops laughing suddenly and is in your face and you have no way of backing up further. She’s immediately scarier. She could kill you with a flick of her wrist.

“What?”

“Tell me what you see, Dirk. Is it the disappointment in your brother’s eyes when you shield yourself even to him? Is it the hurt of people who considered you to be their friend but learned that you felt nowhere near the same?” Her voice drops to a whisper in your ear, and you shiver from the chill her breath brings down your back. “Or is it the pain that will be on that boy’s face when he learns just how emotionless and untrusting you truly are?”

She’s getting into your head, her words are dripping her creepy chill into your mind where it swirls around and mingles with everything you already know about yourself and the doubt you carry with you everywhere.

“No! Stop!”

You scramble away and to your feet, taking out your sword at the same time and forming a defense position.

“None of that is true.” Your voice is so calm and level, just as you’ve trained yourself to be, but it hurts too.

“All right, if you say so. You’re the expert after all.” You strike at her in front of you but she’s behind you, whispering in your ear again.

“Why don’t you just believe in them, Dirk? Can’t you do that?”

“Stop. Now.” You twirl and swipe at her again but she just becomes mist.

“Why? If it weren’t the truth you wouldn’t be so bothered, would you? Tell me, Dirk. Would it hurt to trust one person? Would it really?”

You huff and swing and spin but she’s faster than you, which would be impressive, but you’re not sure if she’s real or not. She’s like a ghost, if you had to compare her to anything you have knowledge of to act like this and something faker than half of Dave’s film credentials.

“I don’t know, maybe.” You huff more hot breath, adrenaline really rushing through your veins from trying to catch her. (And fear as well. Mostly fear, if you’re being honest with yourself. But you decide to fuck that, because being honest with yourself sucks ass.)

“Fine, suit yourself. But it’s your life. Your lonely, lonely, untrusting, friendless, loveless life.”

She gives you a dark shark grin before she is cut through again and dissolves into the darkness.

This time she stays away, but she’s already in your thoughts, your mind.

You stand for a while, trying not to think about what she said. How it’s true.

You captchalogue your sword and begin to shuffle your way back in the direction the captain was taking you. Or maybe you’re now headed to where you started? You’re not sure.

You haven’t known Jake for very long. A few hours at most, if even that. But you’ve never made a connection like that. Truth be told, you haven’t actually made an effort to be civilized to someone in so long that you don’t even know anymore if you would be able to relate to most people. You think the answer is still an obvious no but this experience with Jake has left you craving companionship as you never have and you might be willing to try this social thing if you can actually manage to keep Jake interested in you. As a friend. Obviously.

You run into something hard and nearly fall over again but manage to keep your balance by clinging to the object. Or person.

“Fucking blazes, you scared the right shit out of me there! I do apologize, I didn’t mean to-”

“Jake?”

“Dirk! Oh good, now I won’t have to do a lot of rescuing! What are you doing out here all alone?”

“I lost the captain somewhere because I can’t see a god damn thing. Here.” You manage to find his arm and loop it through yours. You think about holding his hand but you brush that thought away and bury it so you never have to think about it again.

(Your cheeks may be turning red again. Fuck.)

“Oh, good thinking! Don’t want to lose each other now that we’ve finally found another!”

“No, we wouldn’t want that.”

“Off we go then. I think the door is this way.”

You begin to shuffle with Jake leading the way slowly across the slick bottom. You’re reminded of penguins.

“So, lovely weather we’re having.”

He laughs at that, a big, warm laugh that makes your chest tighten again.

You decide it’s not a bad feeling.

“Dear lord, you’re going to be the death of me Strider, I know it.”

You chuckle and shake your head.

“I’m afraid it’s the other way around, English.” You muttered it but you must’ve said it louder than you thought because he hears it anyways.

“What do you mean?”

“Uh-”

Suddenly your feet fall out from under you and your on your ass again due to the slick surface, but this time you’re sliding and oh god you’re going to slide off the edge of the ship _which you can’t even see because it’s so fucking dark out here._

You just barely manage to grab on to something with your right hand before you’re off the bottom completely, and then you’re not sure what would happen. Would you keep falling until forever? Would you hit the gravity field on the other side and be thrown back down again, until you’re stuck between fields? Your stomach turns. You don’t really like the thought of that.

“Dirk?!”

“I’m here, Jake. I’m a little stuck though.”

“I’m coming to get you, hang on.”

Fuck, you’re both going to get stuck if that happens.

“Don’t, you’ll probably slip too and then we’ll both be stuck or you’ll fall. Do you know of another way to pull me up?”

Your hand is sweaty and you barely manage to hang on. You try for another hand grip but there seems to be nothing and whatever you’re holding on to doesn’t have enough room for both hands.

“Er. Not sure. Let me look around and think.”

“Please hurry.” You mutter into the metal of the ship. Fuck, this was not going to end well.

After several excruciating moments, Jake breaks out of his thinking bubble.

“Okay, so I remember seeing somewhere on my way here that if something like this happens, you should let go because the ship will automatically return you inside the ship.”

“Let go. You want me. To let go.”

“Er... Yeah?” He doesn’t seem very sure of himself and that’s downright worrisome.

“Yes or no English. You are telling me to let go and I want you to be damn sure about this before potentially end up floating around in wherever this is for forever.”

“Yes...?”

“Jake. Do you want me to let go? Are you sure?”

He takes more time thinking, which on the one hand is good because it means he’ll be sure about himself, but on the other hand you don’t think you can hold on much longer.

“Yes, I’m sure. Let go. I’ll meet you on the inside of the ship.”

Fuck, you’re going to spend the rest of your life floating around nowhere land. You prepare yourself for a boring existence.

And let go.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Well, you’re not dead.

“Dirk Strider you fuckhead, I told you to follow right behind me or you’ll get lost!”

“Sorry, ma’am.”

“Don’t you ‘sorry ma’am’ me, we both know that is bullshit and I’m not taking it!”

She grabs both you and Jake by the ear and drags you back to the room with the other teens who seem to have had various adventures of their own by their excited talking.

You and Jake sit down next to each other after she leaves and when he smiles toothily at you about the adventure you both just had you actually give a small, but genuine, smile back.

_Merry Christmas, Jake._

You finally arrive at the place your journey has been leading up to the entire time and you file in two lines to an ornately decorated castle on the planet Skaia. The planet is odd and very different from how you imagined, with checkered tile seeming to be everywhere as the ground, but it seems as if Christmas is a big thing here, as everything that isn’t ground is decorated with lights or ornaments. You wonder if whatever event you’re going to is an annual thing.

You think you’d like to take Jake adventuring here too (the look on his face makes it clear he wants to very badly), but the captain makes it clear that there’s no running off this time and that you must attend this ceremony. You roll your eyes a little but she keeps an eye on you to make sure you don’t do something foolish.

(The most adventurous thing you do is brush your hand against Jake’s when you walk side by side in line together. He doesn’t take the hint. You try not to be disappointed.)

The captain leads all of you to line up in front of a throne looking chair.

Hundreds of strange looking villagers must be here, waiting for the same thing all of you must be. You think you can hear Christmas music playing the background, and you hold back a smile until you see Jake looking at you from the corner of your eye. You let yourself smile now on purpose because you know he’s watching you, and now he knows you know he’s watching you. He blushes and looks away, and you can’t help but smirk and smile bigger.

“I hope you weren’t all waiting just for me!”

A boy with eyes so bright blue you can see them where you’re standing appears out of thin air, dressed in the traditional red suit worn by Christmas enthusiasts and those with pedophilic tendencies, and wearing the beard that quite obviously does not fit on his face.

He’s obviously young, around the captain’s age, you would guess. He’s brimming with excitement over Christmas, or maybe it’s the suit. He seems almost child-like to you instead of the age he must be at.

He’s literally flying.

You don’t know what to think of anything anymore.

“Ahem.” He clears his throat and holds his hands out to shush the already-silent crowd. He draws himself up, taking in a deep breath that expands his chest, and he says,

“Ho ho ho, merry Christmas! Let the festivities begin!” In the worst fake deep voice you’ve ever heard.

You roll your eyes but the citizens around you, mostly dressed in reds and greens for the occasion although you can see some dressed in purples and yellows, cheer and you almost have to cover your ears from their deafening merrymaking.

All of you humans stand around looking lost until the captain yells at all of you to, “Have some fun before I make you, and don’t think I won’t!”

A party.

They kidnapped a bunch of teenagers for a party? You can’t help but wonder the point of that.

“Feeling lost?” A hand claps on your shoulder, and you jump and turn to glare at the invader of your space.

“That’s okay, I know not everyone is one for parties. I hope you still enjoy yourself though!”

It’s the boy looking ridiculous in a Santa costume. He’s not even wearing it for irony.

“Why were we brought here?” You know roughly where Jake is standing, unless he left to actually go have fun. You’re sort of surprised he hasn’t tried to interrupt you yet, thinking that you’re being too forward and rude, but you guess he must also be interested in the answer... Or he really did leave you to go party, leaving you by yourself.

No, Jake wouldn’t do that.

“Oh, that!” He laughs, a bubbly sort of laughter that you can easily see going on forever, or at least for a very long time. It doesn’t have a start or and end, like most laughs do.

“You’ll see! Don’t worry about it so much though, nothing is going to happen to you and it’s an important reason. We promise. About as important as your relationship with him!” He winks and laughs again, as if he just made a joke and is now cracking himself up about it.

You can see he’s about as helpful as your captain is.

“Merry Christmas!” He calls to you and Jake as Jake drags you off before you can finish what you opened your mouth to say, flushing red by the boy’s comment.

“You truly hold no qualms against speaking your mind, do you Strider?”

“Not most of the time, no. I guess.”

He shakes his head and hands you a plastic cup of non-alcoholic eggnog.

Classy joint.

You and Jake mostly spend the rest of the party chatting to each other and the several other teenagers who apparently don’t feel much like partying either. The rest have disappeared in the crowd, presumably dancing or getting into trouble, or perhaps having adventures of their own despite the captain’s wishes. This time you and Jake let them have it alone, and instead you both get the balls to actually dance a few songs mostly unironically. Mostly. You have to have a little fun when they play _Feliz Navidad_ with all seriousness.

Things take an unexpected turn when the music turns slow and Jake asks you to go on another adventure with him with red blooming across his face and his hand held out to you, but at the same time you’re not surprised.

You take his hand and laugh and say “sure” and then your arms are around his neck and his are around yours.

“You know, one of us is going to have to be the girl here.” You waddle in a circle, switching the balance from one foot to the other.

“I don’t think so, Mister Strider. If anyone is going to be the girl, I’m afraid it’ll have to be you.”

You’re terribly close to each other.

“Why is that, English?”

“Well Dirk,” His voice is breathy and he puts his forehead against yours. “I asked you to dance, not the other way around, so it’s fair.”

“Is it? I don’t know, I rather like this position.” You move your hands to his hips, tempted to put them on his ass but decide against it at the last moment. You don’t want to make him redder than he already is, he might burst. He jumps at the contact, and you smirk. “But I guess you’re right, and this one might be even better.”

He closes his eyes and visibly gulps and you can’t help but laugh at that. He offers a weak smile in return. You follow suit and close your eyes as well and just sway to the music.

This is the greatest adventure you’ve ever had, you decide. You’ll have to have more of them with Jake English.

The rest of the party goes on in the background and soon things are wrapping up and you walk back to the ship. You and Jake let your fingers brush and even cling together a few times. You smile and count that as a victory.

He counts every time you smile as one.

As you climb aboard the ship, the captain takes each ticket and adds to it. It isn’t until its yours and Jake’s turn that you realize each teen did go on an adventure of their own, in one way or another. When it is your turn, she takes yours with a genuine smile, almost welcoming you back on her ship, you guess.

“I’m glad you go what you needed, Dirk. This is only the start, but you’re well on your way.”

She takes your ticket and holds it as she did the first time, and once again when she opens her eyes you can see something flicker or swirl in them.

This time when she hands you your “ticket” back, it’s warm and the front of the medal is actually colored this time, the same dark pink as on your sweatshirt. You still don’t understand what the symbol means, but this time you can read what’s on the back.

 

_Trust_

 

Ah. You think you might understand now.

You hold back for Jake, and the same thing happens, except his symbol is a white yellow. He turns his over as the two of you walk back to your seats, and you see the word etched there as the light glints off the back.

 

_Confidence_

 

Judging by the look on Jake’s face, he understands as well.

The both of you have small smiles as you sit down, and you both acknowledge this. Nothing more needs to be said.

The rest of the trip goes by in a blur. You sit next to Jake, your hand resting on his as you stay in the room this time with the other teens and actually interact with them.

One by one the kids disappear off the ship and your stomach begins to sink as time wears on.

Then it’s your stop. You stand up and Jake follows, the both of you swallowing hard as you look at each other.

How do you say goodbye to someone you just met who has probably changed your life and that you may never see again?

“Well,” Jake sticks out a hand, a heartbreaking smile on his face that’s there for your sake. “You were quite the partner. The best adventuring companion I’ve had.”

You smile back for the same reason and shake his hand, nodding. You’ve gone quiet again, damn it. You don’t want the walls up this time.

“Same.”

You hate yourself a little bit for that.

“Well, so long then. Guess I’ll be talking to you on the ol’ Pesterchum.”

“Yeah. So long, Jake.” You wink at him, but it feels wrong combined with the feeling in your stomach.

The captain leads you off the ship, tells you merry Christmas, and you watch as the ship flies off again, the ghost-like girl sitting upside down and cross-legged on the bottom of the ship, and some of the new friends you made and Jake standing on the deck waving at you. You’re thankful you at least thought to trade chumhandles before you left. The ghost-girl  turns towards you and smiles, adding a wave at the last minute, before disappearing into the darkness again.

And that was it.

You walk up to your apartment, as they had dropped you off at the street in front of your building somehow, feeling numb.

It feels like all the time in the world has passed.

It feels like no time at all has passed.

In reality, no time at all really has passed, as you realize when you enter your apartment. Literally only about twenty minutes have passed, and that’s probably the amount of time it took to get where they picked you up at.

Was it just a dream?

No, you could never dream up an adventure like that, a boy like that.

(Or an ass like that, you remember.)

You stare at the clock and reach into your pocket. You need to reassure yourself it wasn’t a dream, that it was real.

Nothing.

Right, it should be around your neck, how stupid are you?

You put a hand to your chest and grip at-

Nothing.

Nothing in your pockets, nothing around your neck.

Holy shit. Are you fucking insane?

You might be insane.

But all of that just happened, how could you just-

Three quick raps on the door.

At this time in the morning?

You hurry to the door and open it to see Jake holding your metal ticket in hand, the ribbon meant to keep it on your neck broken.

He breathes somewhat heavily and looks up quickly and grins.

“Forgot this.”

And he throws his arms around you and pulls you close and all you can focus on is how his mouth feels on yours and his hand at your neck buried slightly in the hair there and how soft his lips and and how warm his mouth is on yours. It’s hot and romantic and cheesy and wonderful and you think one thing, _damn_ , and that’s soon followed by _I wish I could do this forever_. It is then of course that your bodies remember they need oxygen to survive and you pull away and rest each other’s foreheads together as you catch your breath.

Finally, you get enough of your brain back to use words.

“I’m glad you came back to give it to me.”

“Me too.”

You laugh, breathlessly, and he does too, and then you’re kissing again. It’s hard not to, and it’s hard to stop.

He tastes like hot chocolate, too.

You come up for air again and remember there’s mistletoe over the door.

How fitting.

You’re kissing once more, and this moment seems endless. You seriously could not give a single fuck about anything other than his mouth on yours at this moment, except for that maybe his hand should be on your ass.

“What- What the fuck?! Dirk, fucking hell, why are there two teenagers making out in my doorway, and why is one of them you?! Fucking-”

You break the kiss with your smile and you move the two of you forward and shut the door behind you.

“Merry Christmas, Dirk.” He laughs against your cheek, and you shut him up with another kiss.

Yes, a very merry Christmas to you indeed.


End file.
